morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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