I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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