I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
