I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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