i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
