Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
