yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Come see our sink grown plant.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
