She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
