so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
