Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
