After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
