i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
