at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
