I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
