I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Who died my cat blue again?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The adults are the big ones right?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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