What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
