Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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