People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
