then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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