i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
