we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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