Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
