Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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