So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
