This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
