I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
