a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Farmville is her only friend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
