Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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