It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
