I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
