Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
