Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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