hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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