ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize