dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Panties = found
Randomize
