I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
