I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
