kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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