So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't put those talents on a resume
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
