Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
