Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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