Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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