WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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