Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
