So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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