Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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