I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize