jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
