doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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