he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
