69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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