Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
