god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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