I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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