She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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