Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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