I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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